69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
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somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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