idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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