sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We are two peas in an std pod
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
