you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
