apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize