you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
