The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
