Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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