My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
