I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
