don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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