were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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