if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
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I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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