She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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