can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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