the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
