Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
