You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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