mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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