great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
