this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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