u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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