Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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