I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
