Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
how drunk are you?
Several
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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