That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
