i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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