So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
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You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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