they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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