I didn't shave. On purpose
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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