What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
