I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
