Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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