C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
