maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
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She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
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FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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