Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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