Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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