my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
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I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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