Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.

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(716): View more from New York

Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.

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(775): View more from Nevada

The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women

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(817): View more from Texas

Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?

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