sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
