just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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