I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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