nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
