im about as happy as oj after his trial
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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