if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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