Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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