if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
