i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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