Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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