peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
