where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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