I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
