I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize