All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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