Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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