Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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