I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
